Gents Journey
Gents Journey
Trust Yourself: Unlocking Inner Confidence and Personal Growth
Trust yourself, and watch your life transform. In this episode of the Gentleman's Journey podcast, I, Anthony, promise you'll gain insight into how self-trust can be your greatest ally. Explore the intriguing journey of developing inner confidence as we discuss scenarios that challenge your self-assurance, like taking on new responsibilities or learning from mistakes. Discover how shifting your mindset from self-criticism to solution-focused thinking can empower you to make bold decisions and align your life with your core values. Listen to the inspiring story of my friend Emma, whose fearless pursuit of her passions showcases the immense power of trusting one's unique perspective.
We'll also uncover practical steps to enhance your self-trust and confidence through daily habits and mindset changes. Learn the transformative power of starting your day with meditation, hydration, and a short walk, setting a positive tone that can carry you through even the toughest challenges. Reflect on and document past successes to quiet your inner critic, and harness the power of affirmations and decisiveness to build self-assurance. By embracing mistakes as learning opportunities, you can shift from a mindset of victimhood to empowerment, fostering a stronger sense of self in your everyday life. Join me on this path to making 2025 a year of unprecedented personal growth and confidence.
"True mastery is found in the details. The way you handle the little things defines the way you handle everything."
Hello and welcome to the Gentleman's Journey podcast. My name is Anthony, your host, and today we're going to talk about something that you really need to do this, really, in order to not even progress forward in your life, but to really set yourself up for success and give yourself the ability to move forward. Now, what is this that I'm talking about? What is this that I'm talking about? I'm talking about how to start trusting yourself and building inner confidence. Okay, so let's go ahead and let's talk about it. Now here's a question, right? Do you ever second guess yourself, or do you maybe hesitate to make decisions because you're maybe afraid they're going to turn out wrong, or do you rely on others to validate your choices? Here's the thing. If any of that sounds familiar to you, or if that is you, it's okay. You're not alone. All right, self-trust. I'm gonna tell you this right now self-trust is really one of the most important and powerful tools that you're ever going to have for confidence and growth. When you start to trust yourself, right, you make bolder decisions, you recover faster from setbacks and you create a life that aligns with your values. But here's also the truth Trusting yourself is a skill and, like any skill, it can be developed. So, because it can be developed, right, what we're going to do today is we're going to dive deep into what it means to trust yourself. Is we're going to dive deep into what it means to trust yourself, why it is so important and how you can start building that trust with yourself, one step at a time, and by the end of this episode, I'm going to give you actionable strategies to strengthen your relationship with yourself so, in that way, you can start moving forward in confidence with your life.
Speaker 1:Now you know, as we're talking about this, what is self-trust, right? Well, self-trust is the ability, or I should say the belief in your ability, to make good decisions, handle challenges and stay true to your values. Right, and the reason why self-trust is so important. What it starts to do is it enhances your decision making, right, when you have self-confidence, when you have self-trust, you're less likely to second-guess yourself. Right? But what it also does, too, it builds resilience. I know we talked about this on a podcast episode last week, but it builds resilience, right. You can recover from your failures because you trust yourself in the ability to adapt. But trust also, too, it fosters independence. Right, you rely less on external validation and you rely more on your inner wisdom, right? Because here's the thing trusting yourself doesn't mean you'll never make mistakes. It means believing you'll learn, grow and keep moving forward. All right, so what we're going to do is we're going to see how much you trust yourself, right? I'm going to give you some trust scenarios here and be honest with yourself as I say these scenarios to you. So what we're going to do is I'm going to give you the first scenario. What we're going to do is I'm going to give you the first scenario.
Speaker 1:You're offered a new job with more responsibility, but also more risk. Do you trust in your ability to handle the challenge or do you hesitate, fearing you might fail? So let's say, for example, if you ask yourself this question what's the worst that can happen and how I can handle it? That means you have trust in yourself, right? Well, let's say you're like, oh my God, I would never take on more responsibility and more risk. I don't want to risk anything. I want to stay right here right now. I could never do that in a million years. Well, that sounds like you don't have a lot of trust in yourself, right?
Speaker 1:Let's go over another scenario. You make an error at work that impacts the team you're working with right Now. In this mistake, do you immediately blame yourself or do you trust that you can fix it and learn from the experience? Yes, as you're answering that question, here's something I need you to understand Mistakes don't define you. When you start to focus on solutions and not self-criticism, you start to understand the why and the how of what's going on. Okay, now here's another one. You have a great idea, but you feel unsure about it. Right, do you trust your instincts to share it or do you wait for someone else to validate it first? Now, as you're answering that question, I want you to remember this that your unique perspective has value. Start to trust your voice. Okay, because what these scenarios are showing is I want them to highlight for you specifically where self-trust can shape your confidence Right. Where self-trust can shape your confidence right, the more you practice trusting yourself in small decisions, what starts to happen? It builds this compound effect to where you start to compound in your confidence and your belief becomes stronger, which gives the ability to make bigger and better decisions. Right, and that's what we're trying to get to Because, again, like I say on every episode so far, 2025 is your year.
Speaker 1:This is your year, okay. This is a year where you have self-confidence. This is a year where you have a clear focus. This is the year where you have your manifesto. This is the year where you have your manifesto. This is the year of you, nobody else, okay.
Speaker 1:Now, as we're talking about this, I was just thinking about something. So I know a girl named Emma and, oh gosh, I've probably known her for about five, six years, right. And you know, I told her I was doing a podcast and she's like I don't know how you do that. That's so crazy. You know, aren't you scared about what people think, or whatever? And I'm like no, because in my heart, even if I reach just one person, I've done my job, right.
Speaker 1:But she's a teacher and, you know, speaking in front of kids is one thing, but like doing, like real public speaking, is another. And when she was there, when she was teaching, you know, the principal said hey, you know, you're really good at like connecting with kids and I have some. You know, a lot of our teachers don't know how to do that. Yes, I know, they're teachers, but again, they don't know how to really have empathy, right. So they want her to teach a class on that. And as she was doing this, you know her first instinct was to say no, I'm not doing it, no way, I don't want to do this. Right. But what she did instead she's like you know what I can empower myself and I can empower these teachers to be better teachers by giving them ways to empathize with their students and connect better. I have to do that right.
Speaker 1:So Emma chose to trust herself to do this. So you know she spent time preparing the lecture. You know she practiced in front of a mirror first, then she recorded herself. You know, then she practiced in front of a, you know a couple friends, and you know she was reminding herself as she was doing this like this is valuable knowledge I need to share, right? You know, I can't let my fear hold myself back from the impact that these teachers are going to make on these students, right? So now, dave, presentation comes and I'm telling you she was so nervous she puked in the wastebasket. I was right next to her desk, right. But she's like I got to push through, I got to do this. I have a reason, I have a focus Right. And when she was done, the feedback that she received was overwhelmingly positive. And you know, the thing about is now Emma leads like a bunch of workshops on this kind of stuff, you know, for teachers not only at her school, but for other schools as well.
Speaker 1:Okay, and what I'm trying to tell you is, when you start trusting yourself right, what you have to do is you have to trust yourself outside of your comfort zone. Remember, we talk about all the time that the things that you want is outside of your comfort zone, and another thing we say, too, is that the things that you want are in the work you're not doing right. So now she has a side gig, she gets paid for this kind of stuff, she's now becoming an expert in this and on top of that, it's building her confidence, right, and I'm pretty sure, within the next couple of years, if she wanted to step away from being a teacher, she probably could and have this as a side business and make it her full a full time job. Who knows, right, but she never would have known what this was until she took a step forward and started believing in herself, right?
Speaker 1:I have another friend named Jason, right, and I'm going to tell you like Jason is probably one of the smartest guys I've ever met. You know he was on Bitcoin like 12, 13 years ago, right, and he's always been in IT. But you know the thing about it was he's really good at IT, but it's not like his passion. You ever like done something you're really good at and you make good money, but you're bored to death because you really get done with it? You know an eight hour job within two and something you're really good at and you make good money, but you're bored to death because you really get done with it an eight-hour job within two, and now you're just spending six hours on Facebook or Instagram or whatever, right?
Speaker 1:Well, with him, he loves gardening and landscaping that's kind of what his vibe is, right, and he wanted to start his own landscaping business. But, like every time we would talk about it, like at a holiday party or when we go meet up for like coffee you know he was always like dude, I can't walk away from a six-figure job. You know I can't walk away from this. How am I going to do that? And I said, listen, man, you never know unless you try, try and let's say you give this like six months or a year, right, you have enough savings for that and let's say it doesn't work. Then you go right back to IT, you make your six figures, you work for another company. At least you gave it a try, at least you know. At least it's not in the back of your mind like, oh my gosh, I should have did it. Now you know because you worked through it right.
Speaker 1:So what he decided to do instead, right, is, he started doing things like part-time so he would pick up jobs, like on the weekend. So he did like his neighbor's house. Then he started doing like his whole block right, just saying like, hey, just pay me 40, 50 bucks, just so he could really learn his trade, and doing landscaping, right. And then once he got like 15, 20, 30 clients and he realized like I can't handle these guys by myself, right On the weekends. Then he started, you know. Then he hired a couple of guys. Now this guy is doing corporate stuff where he does big buildings, all of their landscaping and stuff like that. That's what he does. He does essentially corporate landscaping. It's crazy, but what I'm trying to tell you is he took a chance. But what I'm trying to tell you is he took a chance.
Speaker 1:You'll never know what your life can become unless you take a chance. And the only way you can take a chance is by building confidence and trusting yourself. That's the biggest thing, because you have to understand and I think a lot of people don't get this your confidence and self-trust and trusting in yourself. It happens in stages, right, and each stage that you clear, you get better and better. It's kind of like when you're playing a game. Right, you start off as a character with nothing. The more you play the game, the more battles you win, the more things you get right. You become stronger and stronger and stronger and you can take on bigger enemies and better enemies and you just kind of keep going forward. Well, that's kind of how the game of life works, right, and every battle that you win, it builds more confidence and more trust in what you're doing. Right Now let's talk about how to.
Speaker 1:We talked about these people now, but now let's talk about you and how we're going to build your self-trust. You know the biggest way to do it. Like I would say, like the first step, you got to keep promises to yourself, right, if you promise something to yourself, see it through, because, again, remember, this is a game that you're playing Small commitments, build confidence and builds in your ability to follow through right. The more confidence you have in something, the more likely you're going to do it and be successful. It's just how it works right.
Speaker 1:So what I want you to do when you're doing this, start with like one problem a day, like you know what. Here's a great example. This is something I do. First thing I do when I wake up after I meditate is I drink, like I don't know, probably eight or nine ounce glass of water in the morning and then after that, after I get done meditating and everything else, then I go take like a 15, 20 minute walk, something that I do personally, because I do that every day. I'm getting my body hydrated and moving and I'm telling you that makes such a huge difference in your life.
Speaker 1:Now, the next thing I want you to do right and this can kind of get you stuck, but we'll work through it is reflect on your past successes, and what I mean is I want you to think about times when you trusted yourself and you were successful. Okay, because when we can think about those kind of things, it not only builds our confidence and trust, but what it really does, too, is that you've been there before and you've done that and you built confidence from it. Because what I'm going to tell you right now, you have survived, I guess you could say, all your worst days so far, because you're still alive and there's a lot to be said about that. Right Now, as you're reflecting on these past successes, I want you to write down five moments. Let's say where you made a good decision or where you overcame a challenge right.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, when we see things on paper, it has more meaning. Like, for an example, if you write down a goal, you have a 42% chance of actually achieving that goal right, compared to somebody who doesn't write any of their goals down. So writing is always important. Now here's the biggest one you got to quiet your inner critic. All that critic does is they're and I'm putting this quotation mark they're protecting you. And I'm putting this quotation mark, they're protecting you. But realistically, if you have an inner critic, it's because you have an undisciplined and untrained mind. When you start to build confidence, it drowns out that negativity in your mind. I'm telling you right now Build confidence. You don't have a negative mind. And something that will help you do that, and this is something that I do.
Speaker 1:I know I talk about this all the time, but I replace negative self-talk with affirming affirmations. Again, when I wake up first thing in the morning, when I'm brushing my teeth, I have my affirmations, I have my manifesto on my mirror. So, as I'm brushing my mirror right, so as I'm brushing my teeth, looking all kinds of crazy, I'm looking at that stuff and I'm saying it to myself. I'm feeling it in my chest. I'm capable of making decisions that are going to align with my focus and my values right. As long as I always do that, I will always build confidence in myself.
Speaker 1:Here's the next thing that everybody here listening has either suffered from or is currently suffering from, and you know what that is Overthinking. Overthinking erodes self-trust like that. It's like a landslide. It just wipes it right away, right. A landslide just wipes it right away, right.
Speaker 1:There's a saying that you have to make a decision on the information that's in front of you right. When you can start to practice decisiveness like I want this and this is what I want and this is what I'm going to do right, and you commit to making those decisions with the information that you have, I'm telling you, your life will change. Because here's the thing. If you ever have like the thing, like, oh, where do you want to go eat at, or where do you want to eat, or what do you want to do tonight, right? Oh, I don't know. What do you want to do? What do you want to do? Right, the people that are decisive are the ones that get to choose and that everyone goes with. A great example of this is if anyone's ever watched this show, you'll understand where I'm going.
Speaker 1:Here is the Big Bang Theory, right, and Sheldon. Sheldon's a very decisive person and all of his friends follow him because he's decisive, right. So be decisive. Practice being decisive. The more decisive, remember that you can be. It builds what that self-confidence and learning to trust yourself Such a big thing, right. And another thing, too when you're doing this, when you're especially practicing decisiveness, give yourself five minutes to pick a restaurant. When you're looking at the restaurant, right, saying like, okay, when I look at this, I want to meet these two or three criteria, and then you just order, right, be decisive. You're doing yourself a favor if you can do that.
Speaker 1:Trust me and this is something we talk about all the time here, too Embracing your mistakes as learning opportunities. Like I say all the time. There's no such thing as failure. There's only lessons. Right, you have to understand. Trust grows when you see failures as a part of a process, not as evidence of you not being good enough, of inadequity being inadequate, I guess, is a better way to say it or not good enough. That does not reflect that. You have to understand that failures are just a part of life. It's how you respond to those failures and move on for those failures. That's what determines what you do with your life. Okay, and this is something you have like. This is something you should say to yourself. Let's say if something doesn't go right, what did I learn and how can I apply this next time? And another way to say it is is that this is happening for me and not to me.
Speaker 1:Okay, when you have this negative self-talk and you don't trust yourself, it's because you're living a victim mentality. The minute you start trusting yourself and you start being decisive and you start. This is what I implore you to do after this Reflect on the scenarios we talked about earlier. Right, identify one area where you don't trust yourself and take one action to move past the hesitation. Remember, the world loves action. When you have action, you have data that you can work from. Okay, and I have to let you know this. I have to remember this, please.
Speaker 1:Trusting yourself is not about being perfect. Trusting yourself is not about being perfect. I'll say that again. Trusting yourself is not about being perfect. It's about believing in your ability to learn, to grow and, more importantly than anything else, is to stay true to who you are, because, remember, this is your year. 2025 is your year. You do these things, you will live the best year you've ever lived in your life thus far. Okay, so, guys, thank you so, so, so, very much. I know I was really hyped up on this today, but thank you so much for listening today.
Speaker 1:If you have any questions on this or anything that we talk about, please, please, please, never hesitate to reach out to me. There's three ways. First way now is very new. It's the text me feature. You hit text me. You can go ahead and text me with questions or concerns that you have, or maybe a way that this is empowering you. I'd love to share that with our audience here. The second way is through email. My email is anthonyatgentsjourneycom. Please, please, please, do not hesitate to email me. And, last but not least, you can slide into my DMs. My Instagram handle is my gentsjourney. Please, please, please, feel free to reach out to me on any of this stuff and I promise you I'll get back to you and we'll have a conversation and get you going in the right direction. Okay, so again, thank you so, so, so, very much for listening today. Have a great weekend, go out there and crush it, because 2025 is yours, and remember this you create your reality. Take care. Bye.