Gents Journey
Gents Journey
Breaking Free: Embracing Growth Beyond Your Comfort Zone
What if your comfort zone is the very thing holding you back from the life you truly desire? Join me, Anthony, on this enlightening episode of the Gentleman's Journey podcast, where we unravel the subtle traps that comfort zones set, turning what feels like a safety net into a cage that stifles growth. Through the inspiring story of my friend Chris, who took a leap into leadership and uncovered his true potential, we'll explore how you, too, can identify when you're stuck, reframe your fears, and build the momentum needed for a transformative 2025. This episode promises to equip you with the insights to break free from stagnation and embrace the possibilities that lie just outside your comfort zones.
Stepping into your stretch zone doesn't have to be daunting; it can be empowering. Discover the power of small wins in building the confidence and authenticity necessary to expand your horizons. We'll delve into practical strategies like creating a "courage bank" to bolster mental resilience and redefining failure as a valuable learning opportunity. Through activities like drawing circles to visualize the journey toward self-mastery, you'll learn to turn fear into fuel for personal growth. By the end of our conversation, you'll be ready to embrace these tools to conquer your barriers and set the stage for owning your kingdom in the new year.
"True mastery is found in the details. The way you handle the little things defines the way you handle everything."
Hello and welcome to the Gentleman's Journey podcast. My name is Anthony, your host, and today we're gonna talk about something that everything you want is outside of this. All your wants, all your desires, the best version of you, the best relationships everything that you want is outside of this. Now, what is this that I'm talking about today? I'm talking about your comfort zone and why your comfort zone is probably your biggest killer to success. So let's go ahead and let's talk about it. You know I always say this and I guess it could be a question is you know, when I talk to people, you know I say like you know what? What happens if you just stay in your comfort zone? You know when you're making, like, a big decision. You know a comfort zone is this. It's something that feels safe, predictable, it's easy. But what is the cost of a comfort zone? It's missed opportunities, it's untapped potential. You know, dreams left unrealized, woulda, shoulda, couldas regret more than anything. Now, I'm not saying comfort zones are bad. They're there to protect us. They exist to protect us. I guess you could say but here's the thing with everything If you stay there too long, that safety net, that little thing, that area that protects you, you know what it becomes. It becomes, you could say, a prison, but we'll say a cage. It becomes a cage that you lock yourself into, right. So what we're going to do today, in this episode, we're really going to dive in to what it takes to break free, but not in a way that overwhelms you, but more in a way that's going to inspire you so that way, you can take meaningful steps towards growing and being a gentleman, or being at your best, or your higher self. Right, and here's the thing I'm going to tell you this by the end of this episode, you're going to know how to identify if you're stuck, how to reframe your fear and how to create the momentum to move forward. And how do they create the momentum to move forward? Because, again, like I start every podcast, I say this one thing to you, because it's the truth 2025 is whose year. Yes, that's right, it's your year. 2025 is your year.
Speaker 1:Now, as we're talking about this, the thing about comfort zones it's a very subtle trap, right, the walls close in very subtly. It's not enough for you to notice, right, but really, what a comfort zone is? To be honest with you, it's really not only a place, it's a mindset, it's your habits, it's your routines and it's your beliefs that keep you familiar, right, but here's the thing this is why it's a subtle trap Is that you convince yourself you're content, even when you're not growing. And you know what the biggest thing that happens Fear of failure and discomfort stops you from taking risks. And let me tell you what that costs you, what the quiet cost of that is.
Speaker 1:You ever feel like stagnant, like man. I feel stuck and I don't know why. Everything is going great, but I feel stuck. All of a sudden, this starts to play in your mind the what if? The woulda, shoulda, coulda, right? You see, this happens a lot with people towards the end of their life or, let's say, they just went through a dramatic life experience. Those things break you out of your comfort zone, and those are the questions you start to ask yourself. Because, realistically, what starts to happen? Like people make the biggest improvements in their life when a huge life changing event happens, because they realize that they're living in a comfort zone. Right, and here's the thing about a comfort zone. I'm just gonna be honest with you. And here's the thing about a comfort zone. And I'm just going to be honest with you. No-transcript is keeping you from your true potential.
Speaker 1:So I have a friend named Chris. Okay, I'm going to tell you about this because I was just thinking about this. Chris was working at like a really it was a crap job. I'm going to be honest. It was not good, right, but the thing about it was his crap job. He was amazing at it, customers loved him, the company loved him, everyone loved him. But the problem was is that he was bored and he was unchallenged. He would tell me like I literally feel like a zombie, like I don't even have to be mentally awake anymore at my job, and the thing about it is his boss, who was there for years, retired, right. So now a leadership opportunity opened up for him. And again, remember this, you know, just to let you know about him he's been there for like 10, 15 years, right?
Speaker 1:So as we're talking, he's talking about this leadership position that's coming up and you know he doubted himself because he didn't feel qualified, you know. But I told him like listen, dude, you can do this. People love you, people follow you. You're a great mentor, you're a great listener, people are gonna follow you like this. This is kind of like your destiny in a way like this is the universe saying like, hey, here's an opportunity, please take advantage of it. Right? And here's the thing, I'm gonna be honest with you. He applied and he's like I don't think I'm gonna get this. I don't think I am, but here's the thing that single act of courage changed everything for him. He crushed the interview obviously Right and he landed the position, got it Right.
Speaker 1:And here's the thing it opened up doors that he didn't even know existed. He met people because he had to go out and travel. So he met higher-ups, he started getting mentors, he started to develop new skill sets for this job, for this leadership position. And you know what that does, or what it did, I should say what it's still doing. It gave him a sense of purpose. It gave him a sense of purpose and here's the thing he took one step out of his comfort zone to do this and because he did that, his growth was exponential. At that point, it just started coming in waves towards him. So this is what I'm trying to tell you.
Speaker 1:This is not about eliminating fear. You know what it is. It's about acting in spite of it. So I'm going to nerd out here on you guys really quick. I'm a huge Batman fan, right, and I don't remember what Batman movie it was, but they said do you ever get scared? He's like no, I'm angry, right. Well, you have to understand about fear, about your comfort zone and about taking a leap. Everything is determined on your thoughts, intentions and actions. Everything is right. And when you understand that fear doesn't exist, it only exists in your mind, it doesn't really exist out there. Okay. Now if you're saying like are you trying to tell me I shouldn't be fearful of a shark, I shouldn't be fearful of a bear or a tiger no, I'm not saying that. I'm talking about in general. Okay, in general, all fear is in your mind, it's inside of you, it's not outside of you, so remember that. Okay, it's not outside of you, so remember that, okay.
Speaker 1:Now, as we're talking about fear, do you want to know one of the biggest things you can do if you can find out what your fear is Like? Here's a great exercise you can do Find out what you say that you're too busy for, or what's not the right time. If those two things come up when you're talking about something, bingo, there's your fear right there. Write down that specific fear that's holding you back. You know, some people are afraid to fail because they don't want to look foolish, right? They don't want the embarrassment, they don't want the laughter, they don't want that, right. But here's the thing I'm going to tell you. When you recognize your fear, it makes your fear less powerful, right? And here's the thing too. When you understand your fear, less powerful, right. And here's the thing too when you understand your fear and you're eliminating or not letting it hold you back and you get nervous.
Speaker 1:When you're doing a talk, it's okay to say you're a little bit nervous. You're doing a presentation, say hey, you know, guys, I'm a little nervous here. Please work with me. People understand that they do. But here's the thing what is fear really holding you back from? Because you know what the thing about it is.
Speaker 1:When you talk about fear, when you're stepping outside of your comfort zone, right, with fear, it's really uncomfortable, right. But you know what that comfort is. It's you stretching out. You know, have you ever like sat like over a long period of time, like, say, you're doing a road trip, right, or whatever, and you're sat for like three or four hours driving, and you get up and you start stretching and your bones start popping and your back pops and you're just like, oh my gosh, what is going on here? Right, it's your body adjusting back to normal, like from sitting for so long. Sometimes it's uncomfortable, like you're doing the stretch, like, oh gosh, my back or oh my, you know, my arm or whatever hurts my butt hurts, you know, because you're stretching, right. But here's the thing when you're doing this stuff, right, everything is wordplay.
Speaker 1:So something I do if I'm really, let's say, fearful of something, I don't say like, ah, this feels really scary, you know what I say. Instead, I say to myself you know what? This is how I grow, this is how I get better, or this is happening for me and not to me, okay. So as you're doing that, I want you to think about past challenges that you've overcome and how they made you stronger. Maybe it was asking that girl or boy on a date, right. And now you guys have been together for 5, 10, 15 years, right? Maybe it was being uncomfortable for, let's say, 2 or 3 years and saving all your nickels and dimes to get out of debt, right? Maybe it was taking that trip by yourself. Whatever, it is all your bad days, that trip by yourself. Whatever it is All your bad days that you've had, you've overcome because you're still here.
Speaker 1:So here's the next thing as we're talking about that and this is, I'm just such a big believer in this it's taking small actions, or micro actions, because I'm going to tell you like huge, massive leaps can be very, very overwhelming, right, but when you start small, starting small builds confidence. Because remember what we was talking about here, remember consistency builds momentum. What consistency also does to it builds your confidence. Okay, so here's what I'm going to tell you If networking scares you, let's say, let's say you have a job where you got to network and maybe you're not comfortable with networking, all you have to do and this can be anything you can be at a store, you can be at the mall, you can be at a gas station, whatever.
Speaker 1:Just introduce yourself. Hi, my name is so-and-so. What's your name? Great, and you can say, like you know what, I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone. So I said I'm going to introduce myself to one person, one new person, this week, and I'm choosing you. Do you know how big of a deal that is for that next person? They say, oh, tell me more about that. And you can start to tell them about their experiences.
Speaker 1:If you remember our podcast from yesterday, building relationships, that's having authenticity. That's a huge thing, right. Here's another thing and this happens to me Sometimes like coming up with these podcasts can be very daunting, right. So what I do is I spend like 10, 15, 20 minutes and I just throw a subject out there and I just brainstorm ideas on it, and it usually works. So now I've come up with 15, 20 ideas and then like, okay, how can I make podcasts out of these, off of these subjects? Right? What this also does, too, is you got to I call I don't know where does I say this, but I do something called building a courage bank. Because here's the thing every time you take a small risk, you deposit that risk into your mental bank account, right. And here's the thing If you keep a log of your wins, right, and you keep a log of what's holding you back, I'm telling you it'll propel you forward like you've never done before.
Speaker 1:Like, here's like a small win. A small win is like, let's say, you're nervous about talking to people. I waved at three people today and they waved back at me. I said good morning to two people. When I got my Starbucks coffee I said thank you, small wins. I know that sounds crazy, but those little things can really increase your confidence, right? The next thing you have to understand is you have to embrace failure as data. Now, one thing that happens in failure is that people fail and then they get all in their feelings and it's all over, right, but that just means you're not using failure correctly.
Speaker 1:Failure is a feedback. It's not a reflection of your worth. It's not a reflection of who you are. It's none a reflection of your worth. It's not a reflection of who you are. It's none of those things. All it is is feedback from your current thoughts and actions. That's it. So this is something I do.
Speaker 1:Let's say, I had a failure. I had a failure this week, right? Something I was looking forward to didn't go through, and I spent a lot of time and effort and energy on it. But what I asked myself was what worked? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. What didn't work? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom boom. And what will I do differently next time? Bang, bang, bang, bang bang.
Speaker 1:Because here's the thing Remember everything is a feedback. So if I know what's working, what's not working, right Now I have something to go by and say I got to fix these things. And if I fix these things, I'm starting to refine my process. Right, that's what all you're doing is. You're always refining your process. That's the whole point of the gentleman's journey is you're refining your process to become the best person you can be, and that's called a gentleman, right, or that's just called being your best, or self-mastery. There's tons of labels you can put on this right. But I'm gonna tell you something about this. As we're talking about this, here's the biggest ripple effects you're gonna feel when you start doing this.
Speaker 1:The first thing is confidence. Confidence is key in all of this. It really is, because each time you step outside of yourself, outside of your comfort zone, I guess you could say you start to build trust in yourself. And you know what happens. That comfort zone grows just a little bit. You do it. You build more confidence. It grows out more and more and more and more right. And then, as you're doing that, as your confidence grows and your comfort zone grows, you know it starts to come into your comfort zone. Or what appears in your comfort zone opportunities, new people, skills, possibilities, all those things open up for you and here's the biggest thing that happens your authenticity starts to pour out of you, starts to like beam off you right, like beam off of you, right. Because when you discover who you truly are, you understand that who you truly are and who you are conditioned to be are two separate people. You start to work from an inner knowing right, and that inner knowing changes your outside perspective and it changes people's outside perspective of you.
Speaker 1:There's a podcast I did a long, long time ago where I talked about where you got to own your kingdom. You got to be the king of your kingdom or queen of your kingdom. Once you start to do that, your kingdom changes and then the outside world changes their perspective of your kingdom, because you have to remember this is your year, this is your year, no one else's year. It's your year. 2025 is your year. You start following this stuff. Your life will change, I promise you Okay. So if you're driving, don't do this unless you want to pull over, but this is something that really helped me.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're going to do an exercise really quick. So I want you to grab a piece of paper and on that piece of paper, I just want you to draw three circles. Now, they can be big or small. Just try to make them as even as possible, right? Actually, no, we'll do it this way You're going to make three circles one small one, a medium size and a large size, right, and you're going to put them inside of each other.
Speaker 1:So you're going to put them inside of each other. So you're going to draw the small circle first, one that's a little bit bigger and the one that's bigger than the last circle, right. In that first circle, I want you to write comfort zone. And in that I want you to write and you can put it on the side comfort zone what makes you safe feel safe, I should say, but stagnant. That second, bigger one is going to be your stretch zone. What actions feel challenging, but really exciting. And then the last one is your panic zone. Write what feels overwhelming or almost impossible.
Speaker 1:Now, what I want you to do as you're doing this, I want you to focus on the stretch zone. That, right, there is your sweet spot for growth. Choose one action from this zone and commit to it for a week. Remember, the goal is not about perfection, it's about progress. So this is what I'm going to implore you to do this week, if you can, I challenge you to step into your stretch zone. It doesn't have to be big, remember that. It doesn't have to be big, it just has to be big. Remember that it doesn't have to be big, it just has to be intentional. Whether you're trying something new, starting a difficult conversation or pursuing a dream you've been putting off, just take a step, please, for the just, and remember this the magic happens outside of your comfort zone. I know growth isn't easy, but it's always worth it. Your future self will thank you for the risk you take today. So, please, do your present self and your future self a favor. Stay in your stretch zone, okay.
Speaker 1:So, guys, again, I want to thank you so, so, so, very much for listening today. I can't tell you how much this means to me that you're listening. Now, if you have a question on this or anything that I talk about, please, please, please, never hesitate to reach out to me. There's three ways. First way is, if you look in the description, there's a say like text me feature. Go ahead and text me with any questions concerns that you have. I'll respond back to you. Second way is going to be my email. My email address is anthonyatgentsjourneycom. You can reach me by email and, last but not least, you can always go to my Instagram. My Instagram is mygentsjourney. Feel free to DM me there and we can have a conversation. So again, I want to thank you guys. So, so, so, very much for listening today. And remember this you create your reality. Take care. Bye.