Gents Journey
Gents Journey
Transform Setbacks into Success: Building Mental Resilience
What if you could transform setbacks into stepping stones? Join me on the Gentleman's Journey podcast as we uncover the secrets to building mental resilience, a vital component for mastering life's challenges and achieving personal growth. Mental resilience is akin to a muscle, requiring dedication and consistent effort to develop. This episode promises to empower you with strategies to incorporate this skill into your daily routine, leading to enhanced emotional health, stronger relationships, and success in both personal and professional arenas.
Throughout our conversation, we'll offer practical advice on cultivating resilience through self-care and emotional regulation. Discover effective ways to manage your emotions by naming and understanding them, and learn how a strong support system can provide essential guidance and perspective. We'll explore the benefits of journaling as a tool to communicate struggles and reduce their grip on you. By focusing on what you can control and releasing what you cannot, you'll learn to channel your energy into productive actions. Personal anecdotes and insightful tips will help you distinguish between real and imagined concerns, setting you on a path to enhanced mental resilience and success.
"True mastery is found in the details. The way you handle the little things defines the way you handle everything."
Hello and welcome to the Gentleman's Journey podcast. My name is Anthony, your host, and today we're going to talk about something that you really need to have it. There's just, there's just no way around it, and if you don't have this, you won't get far in your journey to become a gentleman, your journey to self-mastery, your journey to become better. It just won't happen. Now, what is this that I'm talking about? Now, what is this that I'm talking about? I'm talking about having mental resilience. So let's go ahead and let's talk about it. Now. Here's the thing you know, as we're talking about resilience, life throws a lot of challenges at us. It does, you know. There's setbacks, there's stress, there's uncertainty. But here's the thing what celebrates, what separates, what separates those who thrive from those circumstances and from who crumbles in those circumstances, isn't luck. It's mental resilience. When we're talking about mental resilience, you have to understand something Mental resilience, it's like a muscle and as you're building this, I'm going to tell you this, right, I'm going to be honest. It doesn't mean you don't feel any pain because you're going to, you're going to feel stress, you're going to feel doubt, but what it does mean, what you can do when you have mental resilience you can recover, you can adapt and you can grow stronger because of those experiences. Because here's the thing mental resilience is a skill you can build. It's something that you can do on a daily basis to build yourself, to have more and more and more and more mental resilience. Do you know, the thing that blows me away all the time when I talk to people who don't have mental resilience is that they'll have everything in the world that they can do right, but one little thing doesn't go their way or one little mistake happens and they just fall apart, they become mush. When you have mental resiliency, it's a superpower. It really is, because when you have mental resiliency, you know exactly what it is that you want to do, how you're going to do it, and you don't care who you have to get through or what you have to get through. It's going to happen because, again, you know setbacks are going to happen, you know stress is going to happen, you know uncertainty is going to happen, but you know what? When you have mental resiliency, you're staring all that in the face and they run. That's the difference.
Speaker 1:So, as we're talking about that, we're going to really unpack what resilience is. Mental resilience is right we're going to talk about why it matters and how you can develop it step by step. We're going to explore oh gosh, there's a lot of stuff. We're going to talk about why it matters and how you can develop it step by step. We're going to explore oh gosh, there's a lot of stuff. We're going to explore habits, really the mindset or mind shift you have to have and, honestly, the support systems that'll help you really thrive in your toughest moments. And here's the thing this is what my goal is today Is, by the end of this episode, that you'll not only understand resilience, but you'll feel empowered to start building it into your daily life.
Speaker 1:Because, again, none of this matters if you don't do it, if you don't put it in practice, it doesn't work. It just doesn't okay. So let's go ahead and let's really dive into this Again. Let's really define what mental resilience is. It's the ability to bounce back from adversity, stress or setbacks. Right. And here's what it's not. It's not about avoiding challenges, but what it is doing. It's how you handle those challenges, those setbacks, that stress and that adversity. Because this is why it's so important to have mental resiliency Life is unpredictable.
Speaker 1:Resiliency helps you navigate uncertainty with confidence. Right. You're able to stare into the abyss and keep walking through. Because here's something I'm going to tell you about resilient people they usually have better emotional health, they have stronger relationships and they have a lot more personal success or professional success, too, at that matter. And they have a lot more personal success or professional success, too, at that matter. Because here's one thing I need you to understand Resiliency doesn't mean you won't fall, but when you do fall, you get up every time. You don't sit on the ground and cry about how unfair it is or how this isn't going to work or how you're a piece of crap. No, you get up and you keep going. That's resiliency, right.
Speaker 1:And here's what studies show about mentally resilient people. And here's what studies show about mentally resilient people they have less anxiety and less depression and they recover faster from stress. Are you super anxious right now? Are you really depressed? Are you not able to recover from stress very fast? Just means you're not mentally resilient yet. We're going to talk about that. We're going to improve you. Because whose year is it? This year, 2025 year is who? That's right, it's your year. This is your time. So we got to get you mentally resilient, to get to start really moving forward and live the life that you deserve. Right, because here's the thing. Here's what I need you to do.
Speaker 1:When we're talking about being mentally resilient, like the first step, you have to see challenges as opportunities, so that way you can learn and grow, instead of just looking at these as like, oh my God, this is never going to work. No, they're just obstacles. That's it. That's all they are. They're just obstacles to make you better. That's all this is. And you have to understand something when you're adopting a growth mindset, you recognize that failure isn't permanent. It's a stepping stone and, just like I said in our last episode, remember there's no such thing as failure. There's only lessons. Nothing is permanent.
Speaker 1:Okay, as we're talking about this, a practical application to this would be this you have to reframe your setbacks. So, instead of saying I can't handle this, say this. Instead, say you know what? I know this is hard, but I'm going to find a way. Okay, and as we're doing this, we've talked about journaling a lot on here, but here's something that you could write down as you're going through this what did you learn from today's challenges? What did you learn? Remember the journey to become a gentleman in self-mastery. You're learning every day and you're learning a lot more from your challenges than they are your successes. I can promise you that Now I'm a huge Michael Jordan fan, obviously right. But he said a quote God, this is probably 15, 20 years ago. It went, I'm trying to remember it said okay, that's how it goes. I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career and I have failed over and over again and that is why I succeed.
Speaker 1:When you're not afraid of failure, because you've bet the mental resistance to do it, to fail and be okay with it, the world will bow to you, I promise, because here's the thing you do when you have mental resilience you build an emotional awareness of yourself and you can start to regulate yourself because you have to understand, you have to manage your emotions of yourself and you can start to regulate yourself Because you have to understand, you have to manage your emotions so they don't control you. People that are easily triggered, people that can't be successful in life. They're emotional all the time. They're so subjective in their life they can't be objective and see what's going on. But when you're mentally resilient, you can do those things. You can see past the clutter and the fluff and the emotion and see life for what it really is. It's yours, okay.
Speaker 1:And here's a practical step that I do. When I'm feeling in that emotional state, you know what I do I pause, I breathe deeply and you know what I do I focus on the present moment and I, and when I'm labeling my emotions so I can kind of see what they are, I never say like, oh my God, I feel terrible, oh my God, I feel bad. I'm honest with myself. I feel a little anxious right now because I got a lot on my plate. I be truthful with myself Because here's the thing, there's this term that you can use, or technique, I should say, and what it is is, if you can name your emotion, you can tame your emotion.
Speaker 1:A lot of times we're so emotionally worked up, we build up these emotions. We don't even know what we're feeling. We just feel a lot of just. We feel a lot of just everything. But when you're actually able to name and feel your emotion and know what that emotion is, you can start to tame that emotion. That's so important to mental resiliency, so important.
Speaker 1:The next thing you got to start doing you have to start strengthening your support system. You just have to right. Resilient people don't go through challenges alone. They lean on friends, on family and mentors. Right, and the thing about it is, if you don't have a support system, I'll be your support system Because, again, remember, this journey to become a gentleman and the journey to self-mastery is something. Yes, you take it by yourself, but there's people around you that are taking it with you. Okay, our goal is here is to build a community so we can all push each other forward. That's the whole point.
Speaker 1:Right, and as we're doing this, when you're doing your support system, identify a couple people who can support you emotionally or offer you perspective. If your friends can't do it, that's fine. If your parents can't do it, that's fine. If your brother and sister can't do it, that's fine. Sometimes you got to do it by yourself. Sometimes you got to just listen to podcasts like this and find it there and find it within yourself. That's okay, all right, because when you're able to do this, sometimes journaling is one of the best things for this, because when you can communicate openly about your struggles instead of bottling them in when you let them go, they don't have as much control over you. Excuse me, because I want you to think about this.
Speaker 1:If you watch I don't know the Academy Awards you watch any award show, any of them like that does baseball, basketball, football, movie, tv, music they say one of four things I want to thank. If it's athletes, it's always like I want to thank God, I want to thank my mom. They say those two things right. Then it's like I want to thank my coaches, my teammates, those things right. Or if you're like in the, you know, in the movie industry, it's like I want to thank the cast and crew, or maybe my mom, right. Or if it's music, kind of same thing I want to thank the producers, I want to thank, you know, the director, whatever it is. They just say that, right, and then there might be some God in there too, but they know it is. They just say that, right, and there might be some God in there too. But they know it takes, like the saying is it takes a village to raise a kid, it takes people around you to build your dreams. It just does right.
Speaker 1:Because here's the thing when you're doing this and this is where a lot of people get caught they have to focus, and you have to focus on what you can control and what is out of your control. Right. If something is out of your control, right. If something is out of your control, why stress about it? Focus on what you can control. Resiliency thrives when you direct your energy or focus towards what's ever within your power to control. It just does you know, if you're constantly worrying about everything, you can't focus. But if you focus on what is in your control and the actions you can take and what your intentions are and how you think you know what starts to happen, you control the world. It's just the truth, right.
Speaker 1:So this is something that I do and like, when I would be really anxious or whatever I'm not kidding I used to drive truck, right. And when I get really anxious, driving truck at night, I would literally on my windshield. I would have what was real and what was in my mind. I would write them down. So what was real is like I had a big beard. I'd feel my beard. This is real. I'd feel my jacket Okay, that's real. My hat that's real. The steering wheel that's real.
Speaker 1:I would go over what was real, right, these are things that I can control. Then I would think of things I can't control, like at this time it's like oh my God, we're going to go to a nuclear war. Oh my God, covid is going to take over all these different things. I can't control that, that's out of my control. But I can control this right here, right. So that's called a control list. Write down everything that's in your control versus what's not.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you, it'll make you so much happier, right, because what it does is it shifts your focus to actionable steps that you can take, because you have things that are in your control that you can take action towards. Because, like, think about this like something I would say to myself. Like, say, if I'm going to a meeting I didn't want to go into, right, I can't control the outcome of this meeting, but what I can do, I can prepare my presentation thoroughly. I can just really know it inside and out and just nail it. I can do that. But by me doing that, it helps me control the meeting. Right, because I'm going to tell you right now, this is the God's honest truth when you stop worrying about what you can't control, can't control, you free up so much energy to tackle what you can control, because here's something that you know, honestly, we forget being resilient. It takes a lot of energy. Let's just be honest, and it's not just about, you know, mental toughness.
Speaker 1:The biggest thing about resiliency is having the capacity to bounce back. And I'll be honest with you Capacity only comes from you taking care of yourself. Like. Think of it like this think about a rubber band it's only effective because it can stretch and return to its original shape, right. But if you overuse a rubber band, what happens? It loses its elasticity, right. The same goes for you.
Speaker 1:If you don't do self-care, you burn out. And you know what burnout does it kills resiliency, it just does. Because here's the thing we have to understand about resiliency, because here's the thing we have to understand about resiliency it's not just mental, it's physical, it's emotional and it's also spiritual. Because something you have to understand about all this self-care isn't selfish, it's essential. How can you give to the world if your cup is empty? How Excuse me as I take a drink here? How, how can you? You can't, right.
Speaker 1:So, as we're talking about this, here's some ways you can really prioritize self-care. Prioritize sleep. Get a good night's sleep, I'm telling you. Just doing that right there will alleviate so much of your problems, right? Stay consistent with your going to bedtime and your wake-up time. I'm telling you huge change in your life if you can just do this. In all honesty I know all of us don't have this ability, but if you can get six, seven, eight hours of quality sleep, I'm telling you massive difference in your life, if you can do it right.
Speaker 1:Here's the next thing. You got to start moving your body. You just have to. You know, I don't care if you just do it by I don't know, taking a walk, if you love to dance around in your house as you're cleaning it, if you want to do yoga, if you want to lift weights, you want to run. You got to do something to build your resiliency and to really take care of yourself, right? Another thing too and I'm not a health coach or anything like that, I'm just speaking from personal experience Eating well and eating crap have a lot to do with your mental resiliency.
Speaker 1:If all you're eating is crap all day, your resiliency is going to be crap. And I'm going to admit it right now I love Coke Zero and I love Dr Pepper Zero, but those are not great for you, right? So drinking water prioritize that. You'll be amazed how different your life and how you will feel if you just drink water, I'm telling you okay. And, like I said, eat better food. You know, they say crap in, crap out. If you put the good stuff in, good stuff's going to come out, okay.
Speaker 1:And here's the next thing and this is something that I had a problem with a scheduling downtime, block time for yourself. Either it's like reading um, if you like to I don't know build model cars, or you like to take photography, or whatever. Or sometimes, you know, my favorite hobby is, right now, doing absolutely nothing is my favorite hobby right now. But schedule downtime for yourself to recharge Super important. And the next thing practice mindfulness. I'm going to tell you, meditation is probably one of the things that changed my life the most. I do something called Transcendental Meditation, or TM. Changed my life, absolutely changed my life, and taking that 20 minutes a day, twice a day, for myself literally made me a different person. I'm not even going to be, I'm going to be 100% honest. So you know, as we're talking about this, I'm going to give you an example of resiliency, right, and I'm just going to admit right now I'm a huge Harry Potter fan. I'm sorry, but I am Okay.
Speaker 1:So JK Rowling, the lady who created Harry Potter. Before she created Harry Potter, you know she faced a lot of rejection from it. You know she created it. No one's like why would anybody want to read this? No one's going to want to read this garbage, right? It's not good. So she got turned down by I think it was like 60, 70 publishers, something just nuts like that, right. And here's the thing she was a single mom pretty much living on government assistance, like food stamps, section 8 kind of stuff, right, and she was struggling. She was literally struggling. But here's the thing Despite all of that, despite all of that, she had a vision for the Harry Potter series. She had it. Even after all these publishers pretty much rejected her for the book. She wrote her manuscript. She kept going. Eventually, a very small publishing house took a chance on her. And here's the thing you want to know what? Harry Potter has sold over 500 million copies worldwide. So just put this in perspective. There's only two books ahead of her that sold more. You know what those two books are the Bible and the Quran. That's it. Now she's worth billions of dollars, billions of dollars.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll give you another example about resiliency the guy who created Starbucks, howard Schultz. This is no kidding. This is no kidding. Over 200 investors said no to Starbucks. To Starbucks, they said no, people don't like coffee that much. There's no way this will work. Starbucks the guy who created Starbucks was told no over 200 times, 200 times. And guess what? There's a Starbucks in every corner. We have to understand about all this. When you can build this resiliency, you become unstoppable. So here's what I'm going to task you with today Write down one challenge that you're currently facing, identify what is in your control and what's not.
Speaker 1:And what is in your control, take a step forward towards that today. Okay, take a step forward towards it, because here's the thing and I need you to understand this the world needs you to be at your best. If it's a book, if it's a movie, you want to create an app, you want to meet the girl, you want to be the best, or whatever. The world needs that. But what you need from yourself is mental resilience in order to get there. Because, again, 2025 is your year. It's yours, it's your year, so let's do it okay. So I know I was really hyped up on this one, but I get passionate about this because I just know what you're capable of. I just know it. I know what you're capable of. I know you can do it. I want you to do it because this is your year, so I want to thank you so, so, so, very much for listening today.
Speaker 1:You know, if you have any questions on this or anything that we talked about today, please, please, please, never reach out, or never hesitate to reach out. Sorry about that. There's three ways. First way is going to be text message. You can just say text me here. Bam, you write me a message, I'll text you right back. Second way is going to be through email. My email is anthony at gentsjourneycom. Please, please, please, never hesitate to reach out my email. Okay, and last but not least, you can reach out to my Instagram. You can DM me there. My Instagram is my gents journey. Please, please, please, never hesitate to reach out to me. Okay, let's make 2025 your year. And again, thank you guys. So, so, so very much for listening today. And remember this you create your reality. Take care you.