Gents Journey
Gents Journey
Building Daily Habits That Stick – The Small Steps That Change Everything
Transform your life one habit at a time. Join me, Anthony, on the Gentleman's Journey podcast as we uncover the power of small daily changes that shape our identity and future. We'll dig into personal stories, like how replacing social media scrolling with reading and waking up early for daily visualization has redefined my life. Discover why habits, not fleeting bursts of motivation, are the true drivers of lasting transformation, and learn how to set clear, actionable goals to avoid the trap of overcommitting and failing when challenges come your way.
Explore five effective steps to build habits that stick and understand why so many attempts falter. We'll start small and emphasize habit stacking, anchoring new behaviors to existing routines for easier maintenance. Creating a supportive environment with visible and actionable triggers is key to success. Prioritize repetition over perfection to build momentum and maintain consistency. Finally, embrace an identity that aligns with your aspirations, using affirmations to reinforce the person you wish to become. Tune in to master the art of habit formation and unlock the potential for lasting success and personal growth.
"True mastery is found in the details. The way you handle the little things defines the way you handle everything."
Hello and welcome to the Gentleman's Journey podcast. My name is Anthony, your host, and today we're going to talk about something that really not only determines your future, but it really kind of determines who you are as an individual and where you're going in life. Now, what is this that I'm talking about? I'm talking about your daily habits, and what we're going to talk about today is with your daily habits. We're going to talk about how you can take small steps in your daily habits that are really going to change everything in your life. So let's go ahead and let's talk about it.
Speaker 1:You know, here's the thing we're talking about daily habits. You know they talk about it takes 21 days to change your, you know, to create a habit or break a habit. You know these different things, but what I think what people understand is that habits really dictate your life and a lot of your habits that you do are unconscious, in all honesty, and once you become conscious of your habits, that's when you can start to change your habits. Because here's the thing you know most people wait for motivation to kick in, right, but the thing about it is change happens in your life when you start with your habits. Small daily habits really reshape not only your life but it really shapes who you are as an individual. You know, I can just tell you this, like when we're talking about habitual things, like for me, for example, like I get up, like one of my daily habits, like every day is getting up about four o'clock in the morning and visualizing my day, that's like one of the first things I do is I get up and I visualize what I want my day to be. And I'm telling you that one habit right there excuse me, really just changed my whole perception of my life. You know, because if I could see something in my mind's eye, then I could see it up, I could see me doing it, then I would start doing it. Right, that was like a habit that I started building for myself. You know, another big habit for me was starting to read. You know, at first it was just audio books, you know, and then the second was actually physically reading, and anytime I wanted to get on social media, instead of being like on my phone or social media, I'd be on my phone reading a book. And I'm going to tell you like that changed too massively, changed my life just massively. You know, because here's the thing when we're talking about, like habits.
Speaker 1:The reason why it's such a buzzword and the reason why people talk about this all the time, the reason why you see it, especially right now, especially being in the beginning of the year, is because habits, on average, shape about 45% of your behavior. I'll say that again your habits shape, on average, 45% of your daily behavior, so that means almost half of your behavior is shaped by the habits that you have. That's crazy, right? And here's the thing If you can start to control your habits, you can control your life. I'll say that again If you can control your habits, you can control your life Because, again, your habits dictate 45% of your behavior on average. That's crazy, that's absolutely crazy.
Speaker 1:And see so, when we're talking about habits, the reason why, when you start doing, like, trying to establish a new habit, like you're trying to do right now, right Like, maybe you're listening to more podcasts, like right now, or maybe you're trying to lose weight, or maybe you're trying to be weight, or maybe you're trying to be more proactive in your life, like going to the gym, or maybe you want to be a writer, or maybe you want to do whatever it is that you want to do. One of the first things that you could tell that your habit's going to fail is overcommitting. Let me tell you what I mean with that. You want to be the best reader in the world, or maybe you want to be the fittest guy in the next 30 to 60 days. Overcommitting to your habit right by aiming super, super high is it kills your habit because you're over committing, right. But here's really what happens when you start to over commit Because you get all excited, right, like I'm going to lose 15 pounds and I'm going to create this habit where I'm going to be my best every single day.
Speaker 1:Well, guess what? The minute? That when you do that, you get tested almost immediately. Almost immediately meaning that that habit, maybe you want to not drink as much, maybe you don't want to, um, eat as much fast food and all of a sudden you're going home, right. And then maybe you're the kind of person's like man it it's wing night tonight. It's wing night, man, I don't know they got those wings. You know 35, 40 cents a wing. And then, man, they got my favorite beer on tap. You know, I'm really I'm hungry man, but you know, I'll start it tomorrow. I'll start that habit tomorrow. I mean, I've done it for a couple days, this isn't going to hurt anything. And then guess what happens? That habit gone, because you already broke it the minute that you were tested. You go to your default, which is your real habit, which is drinking beer, eating chicken wings on a Thursday, because that's just what you do. You see what I'm saying Overcommitting to something is one of the first rules of why your habit is going to fail a majority of the time.
Speaker 1:The second thing is that you lack clarity in your habit. The second thing is that you lack clarity in your habit, so saying like, hey, I'm going to go work out, or hey, I'm going to start reading, or hey, I'm going to start walking, okay, what does that mean? You're going to go work out. Where we're going to go work out, what kind of workouts are you going to do? Being clear would be something like this I'm going to do 10 push-ups after coffee. I'm going to read 10 pages a day. I'm going to blank right. Whatever blank is Right. Whatever blank is, it has to be clear. Whatever that habit is, it has to be clear Right, because the clearer that something is, the simpler it is to do. The more convoluted something is, the harder it is to do.
Speaker 1:Okay, and here's the thing, too, that I think a lot of people don't understand is when you're building a habit, most people rely on motivation for their habits Like, oh, like 531, I'm gonna go to the gym and I'm gonna do those 10 pushups, but here's the thing. So I know I've said this in my last podcast, but I just gotta keep bringing this up, I. But here's the thing. So I know I've said this in my last podcast, but I just got to keep bringing this up. I believe it's the. It's like Friday the 13th or 14th, it's like the second, it's either the second or third Friday of January. It's actually called Quitter's Day. It's called Quitter's Day because it's like 80% of people that had like some kind of goal in mind, you know, for the new year, some new year's resolution. Stop on that day, it's crazy, it's nuts. So because those people relying on motivation you have to understand your motivation will phase, it'll fade out, it'll go bye-bye sometimes, right, but you know it doesn't go bye-bye sometimes, right, but you know what doesn't go bye-bye. Systems, developing systems that you can easily do every single day, those do not fade. They don't. They don't fade, they just don't.
Speaker 1:So now we're talking about why your habits fail. So let's start talking about five steps to actually building habits. That last. Here's the first thing that I need you to understand. I'm going to take a drink here, hold on.
Speaker 1:The first thing you have to understand is you have to start small. Shrink your goal, make it so easy that you can't say no. Right. Let's say, for an example, you want to start reading 20 pages a day. Right, that's your goal, that's what you want to do. Well, hey, guess what? How about you start reading just two pages and just increase that? You know, instead of like, I'm going to read two pages a day, Then the next week, hey guess what, you read three pages a day, and then four and then five. See how I'm going with this. Now, the reason why you do that is because it removes resistance. Once you start something, you're going to do it more often if it's simple and easy, right? Because a lot of people get this confused. The goal is not the habit itself, it's the person you become that shows up. I'll say that again the goal isn't the habit itself, it's to become the person who shows up. Let that sink in.
Speaker 1:Now the second step you're going to do is you're going to anchor into an existing habit, pair new habits with existing ones, right? Let's say, for an example, after you brush, brush your teeth. We're talking about those two pages. Read those two pages as you're brushing your teeth. So you brush your teeth, bam, reading your two pages on your phone, boom, you know. Or let's say you're having your coffee, instead of watching what's on the news and the world ending, you can read your couple pages there, right? Instead of watching the news, you could visualize or meditate, right? Or instead of watching the news, you could do your 10 push-ups. Do you see? Or you could do your 10 push-ups as you're watching the news.
Speaker 1:Do you see how you can start to what is called habit stacking? Habit stacking is one of the easiest things you can do and it's one of the ways you can really to what is called habit stacking. Habit stacking is one of the easiest things you can do and it's one of the ways you can really guarantee your success in building a new habit is stacking it with other habits, because when you do that, you're building consistency by linking the routines together and it's really going to guarantee your success for that new habit you're building. Now here's the next thing, or I should say step three Design your environment for success. Now, what do I mean by that? The habit around you. The environment around you is what triggers your habits.
Speaker 1:So let's say, you know you want to start waking up early, right? So something I do. I have my phone across the room, so when it starts to beep, I'm forced to get up and, you know, turn my alarm off. Well, guess what? Now I'm out of bed. I don't want to get now, I don't have to get in. You know, I'm not fighting myself like, oh, I got to got to. No, I'm already out of bed because I got to turn my alarm off. That right, there is a huge game changer, right.
Speaker 1:Or let's say, for example, you know laying out your clothes the night before, right, so that way you don't have to like sit there like, oh, what am I going to wear today? Bam, you already have. You already picked it out, it's already laid out, it's already good to go, right. Or let's say, for example, you want to read before you go to bed? Right, you put the book underneath your pillow, right? Why does that stuff work Like designing your environment for success? It's because what's visible becomes actionable. I'll say that again what becomes visible becomes actionable. Okay, now here's the next step.
Speaker 1:Step four Focus on repetition, not perfection. This is such a huge thing and it kills so many people because so many people want to be perfect. You know right off the gate, right? Because here's the thing when you're building habits, it's not about getting it right every time, it's about getting it done regularly. Right, it's about building your consistency. We talk about this all the time. Consistency builds momentum, cbm, right? If you are constantly building momentum, it's going to be easier and easier and easier and easier to do, right? So it's not about getting it right every time, it's about getting it done regularly. So just do it regularly, okay, because here's the thing If you're tracking what you're doing, right, you track those small wins.
Speaker 1:You can start to see streaks that are happening and celebrate those streaks. Celebrate them, because, again, your life is changing. Right, because here's the thing Not only are you going to celebrate those streaks that you're doing, but your life in turn is going to celebrate you, and that's a huge thing, right? And here's the thing. Let's say you miss a day. You miss one day, but never two. Say you're really sick, okay, that happens. Do your best, but sometimes you're gonna miss a day, but don't miss two. Don't create that new habit. Okay, now, embrace your identity with this. Become the person you want to become. Because here's the thing Once you start tying habits to your identity, you say it like this Instead of saying, man, I want to go work out, just say I am someone who works out, I am someone who meditates, I am someone who gets up early, I am someone blank right.
Speaker 1:When you start to frame your mind to say those things right, those, I guess you can call them affirmations your life will change and reflect that back to you, I promise. Okay, now, what people see, but they can't really understand yet, is that there is such a massive ripple effect when you start to develop these small habits before they become big ones. Because once you start doing this, small habits lead to confidence. The more confidence that you have in the habit guess what? The more it's going to fuel change in your life. I'll say that again Small habits lead to confidence. Having confidence fuels change in your life.
Speaker 1:If you're confident about something, you're going to do it over and over and over and over and over again. Why? Because you're confident. That's a huge, huge thing that people do not understand when they're starting this. Once you're confident in what you're doing, you're going to do it more often, right? Because people love doing things that they're good at. If you start to become good at this, you're going to do it more often, I promise right.
Speaker 1:And here's like things like when you start to have these small shifts, right, you start to get to 10, 15, 20 minutes of reading, right? You start to journal more often. You start to go, you know. You start to be someone who works out five, six days a week. Well, here's what happens you start to get stronger. Your body changes. People notice you become more well-read. Your writing changes. How you speak changes. People take notice of that. Those are massive things that are going to be life-changing in your life.
Speaker 1:And it all starts just by doing that small habit. And here's the thing, too, people think, like you know we talked about earlier, like you know, you miss one day, but never two. People are like oh my God, I missed two days. I'm such a failure. Oh, please. It's like, stop Right.
Speaker 1:Missing a couple days is a part of the process, but the thing about it is is getting back on track as soon as possible. As soon as possible, get back on track, because if you don't do that, what's going to happen? You're going to start building that habit of not doing it, not being consistent, and then that habit starts to take over and all that change you made is going to be unwanted, and that's something you do not want, I promise. Right, because I'm going to tell you, like, when I was like visualizing and meditating and reading and that kind of stuff and I got really sick for like a couple weeks, I got COVID. I didn't want to do, I didn't even have the mental fortitude to do anything, right, but I was coming back to my mind. Like, once I get over this, right, when I can focus again, I'm going to get back on my habits. And it took a couple of weeks. After that, right, I'm not going to lie, it took some time, but again I got my build, my confidence, back up. I started reading again, I started doing those things and guess what? It all came back like an old hat. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Now, as we're talking about this, think of this to yourself what is one habit right now that you can shrink and start today? Is it reading a book. Is it reading those 20 pages? To you know? Start at two. Is it working out? Do 10 pushups, right?
Speaker 1:There's nothing wrong with starting small and building momentum. There's nothing wrong with starting small and building momentum. There's nothing wrong with that. Because here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to challenge you. Do it for seven days, because I'm going to tell you you start doing this for seven days. You're going to start building momentum and you're going to start seeing the small difference first and you're not going to want to stop. I promise you know. Because, again, remember, it's not about the habit, it's about becoming the type of person who shows up right. Because, again, remember, you're in the first week of the new year. This is your year, it is 2025 is your year, and you keep listening to this every day, monday through Friday. I'm going to give you podcast after podcast after podcast that if you start to follow and you start to do, you will start becoming the person who shows up regularly, who's going to change their life and start living a life that they deserve. Because you deserve it. You just do, you deserve the best. So let's start aiming towards that, okay, by building those small habits, habits.
Speaker 1:So, again, I want to thank you so, so, so very much for listening today. I can't tell you how much of an honor and a pleasure it is that you're listening today. Now, you know I always say this if you have any questions or anything about what we talked about today, there's three ways to get ahold of me. There's a texting feature now that you can hit, text me and it goes right to me and we can have a conversation back and forth. You can email me if that's easier for you. My email is anthonyatgentsjourneycom. Or you could find me on Instagram. My Instagram handle is mygentsjourney. Please, please, please, feel free to reach out to me at any time. I will be more than happy to answer any questions that you have. So again, thank you guys. So so, so very much for listening today. And remember this you create your reality. Take care you.